Week 6 - Harlem and The Bronx. On foot.

*A little note to my blog - I'd like to apologize for my long absence. I didn't really have time to write, since lot of things have been going on. And because things exciting enough for you guys don't happen every day, I decide to change daily posts to week posts. It's easier for me and less boring reading to you. :)

As you all know, I was starting a relationship. This guy seemed to be perfect - tall, handsome and an exact version of my if I was a guy. After our first date, we hung out a few times, went for drinks and laughed the whole time we were together. Since my roommate was having a party in the house, I invited Josh as well. Why not, he's Puerto Rican, they'll get along. :) And they have. I wore my batman dress with super shiny stockings (by mistake) and we were having jello shots, listening to loud hip-hop and rnb. Josh was very social and friendly. That is a must for me in relationship. My roomies loved him instantly.

Later on in the week, I met a Mohammed and went to visit Harlem again. He told me there is a really good restaurant there. And afterwards we would go to the Bronx Museum. We went to the Harlem Tavern and the neighborhood was nice. It was "Harlemy" but not dangerous. This part was still safe. But I could see that a few years ago this was not a safe place. There was still that tense atmosphere and watch-out. Some buildings looked like they've been through a lot.

The restaurant was very nice. It took awhile before the server even noticed us and wasn't really educated about their menu or happy hour. After 3 minutes of trying to get the happy hour menu out of him I ordered a mojito and chicken fingers. The mojito was fab and the chicken fingers even better, however to me they weren't exactly the size of fingers, but like 3 medium sized schnitzels with random dips. Mohammed had to help me. But it was soooo goood. And cheap. Definitely recommend people to go there. And it's right by the subway.

Now, the picture you see above is an apartment building in Harlem. Each apartment is for about $1 mil and above. The west side of Harlem is going up and becoming a luxury neighborhood. I really liked it there, but the fact that I can't even afford Harlem now scares me! :D

After dinner we took the subway to the Bronx. Finally. I will be in the Bronx live, touching the ground with my feet. We got out of the station. It was dark and quiet. I was the only white person around. We got to the museum and it was closed. "Oh god, it's a trap, I'm dead now. I am dead!!!" my brain told me. There were a few people in the museum but they informed us it's closed already. Too bad.. Next time. I then went home. And got there safe and alive. :) Two notorious neighborhoods in one night. And I survived. I think I'll be fine here.

Day 41 - The Theory of The Swimming Pool

One thing that is hard to find in NYC is love. It is basically hard to find anywhere, but NYC belongs to the toughest cities of finding love. There are many paradoxes here when it comes to relationships. Everyone is alone here, therefore is looking for the significant other. But when they do start dating, it is difficult for a New Yorker to commit. Why is it, when you don't want to be alone? So people are making themselves alone here. It is understandable that with such an amount of people here, you have choices. You meet someone and you think he or she is the One and the next day you meet someone else who has the same or greater potential. People here can't choose because they have too many choices.

I think that New Yorkers have a lack of knowledge when it comes to love. They are damaged and wrecked from previous relationships and have their hearts sealed in ice. I even dare to say that most did not experience love due to the huge amount of heartbreaks. So my beloved New Yorkers, I have developed after years of experience with love and heartbreak a theory that is easily understandable and to all. This applies to people that are falling in love and are afraid or not used to the feeling. When a person is not used to it or fears it, he or she ends it. And runs away. Isn't that a waste? That way you'll never find someone or you'll be cheated on.

I describe love as a swimming pool. First you enter the area = meet the person. You observe the pool, walk around it and if feeling comfortable, you sit by it = attraction to person. Now it depends what type of person you are. If you like love, you jump into the pool carelessly and see what happens. Usually these relationships end up in catastrophes because the water (love) is either too cold, too dirty or the pool is too deep (other person too clingy or controlling). What people usually do is that before jumping into the pool, they try it out. First, you stick your toes in, then your knees, then comes the body and then you jump. You either swim or you start to drown. But drowning isn't a bad thing. It's the first time you get into the water and experience it's feeling. And this applies to love as well. You try out the waters, you see who the person is. You're cautious because you don't want to get hurt. You control you feelings or you develop them because some people don't fall in love right away.

Once you're drowning, you are in love. It's the first few seconds that you're finding yourself, you're adjusting to the feeling and you're trying to breathe. Most people start to freak out in this phase. They start to become defensive, look for mistakes in the others. It's the phase where you think it's too good to be true. Don't resist it. Enjoy it. You'll start swimming soon. Or even better, you'll start floating. Which is the best feeling ever. That means that your love is true and comfortable. It has no issues. Once you start to swim, you are in a serious relationship and you take care of it. You manage it.

It's ok to be in love. Don't be afraid. Heartbreak will always come. If it's either a couple breaking up or death of your spouse later on in life. One day you will be heartbroken. It's life. So enjoy the swim. :)

Day 40 - Zima

Um, enough said.

Day 39 - The Story of Michael/Mohammed

I met Michael online ... again. I am really bad at introducing myself live so I hide behind the "safe" curtains of virtual reality. We decided to go for drinks and a hookah, which I didn't have in years. We sat down and he told me his story, which fascinated me.

Michael, originally called Mohammed (you can guess why he changed his name) was born and raised in Egypt and lived a part of his life in U.A.E. He received a fancy schmancy university degree in Engineering and got a great job. A job most Egyptians would die for. He worked in the telecommunications business and had a happy life. Rented an apartment downtown in one of those high-rise buildings surrounded by pools, palm trees, sand and gold. But Michael needed to get away from his family. Apparently his father spoiled him. He gave him whatever he wanted as a child and made life "easy" for him. Michael was driven by challenge. He wanted to show the world he wasn't a spoiled brat. Even though self-achieved in the dunes of gold and quite the success, Michael packed his bags and went to America, the land where dreams come true. And the land of freedom.

And so young Michael came to NYC. It was a harsh cold winter. He found himself a shared apartment in Harlem and a job. A quite fabulous one actually - a food delivery guy on a bike. For the first couple of months Michael delivered pizza in snow and sleet. He would come home from work completely drenched. So drenched in fact, that he could fill his shower with the water soaked into the clothes. But Michael didn't give up. And so he looked around and decided to pursue a different career.... bar tending. Since Michael was lonely and discrimination against Arabs was at its peak, it was a good and smart way of meeting people. He could mix good drinks and meet friends while making money and tips. Michael the Engineer therefore got a bar tending job at a bar and climbed the ladder. From the bus boy to waiter, he became the manager. And a professional in cosmopolitans and more. And that it what he still does and loves it.

Michael still lives in Harlem and is now planning to go back to school to study more engineering to continue in his previous career.

And now some nice pictures from the bars in Harlem. :)

Day 38 - Gym

I never liked the gym. I never liked to exercise really. But afterwards you always feel good. And you look good. In New York, you have to look good. You have look interesting and different. You have to have something to show. I have my eyes and my smile and hair. That's about it. I'm white, will never ever be tan. I am a bit hunched. I have a phobia of being fat. I was never fat, but once I was bigger. And since then I have this phobia. And so I go to the gym. Also because of our fitness challenge at work. The entry fee was $30. I am not loosing that. That's two dinners for me.

I go to Lucille Roberts. It's where Amy goes and where she goes, I go. It's an all women's gym. I didn't like the thought at first but it's actually very comfortable. You really don't care how you look like and therefore you can schvitz more so you work out more. The only men are the trainers. The gym has machines, a work-out space, lockers and then a room for classes. The classes are women-orientated so you know you won't die.

I go to body-boxing or what's it called on Tuesdays. You punch around in the air, work your abs, arms and legs. The first time I went I thought I'll die but felt good. The best part is that the gym is right around the corner of my house. Perfect.

The one thing I don't like about the gym is that it sounds sometimes like I am in an airport in the Dominican Republic. The girls at the front desk are Dominican and they yell out announcements about discounts, events etc. in a microphone. It is soooo loud that you can hear her clearly through the microphone. And their voices are high-pitched. It gets to be soooo annoying, oi! Otherwise they're really nice. For ladies who are about to move here, visit the gym, it's all around town. :)

Day 37 - The Day I Met Joshua

February 16. One month and 16 days in NYC and I was ready to go on a proper date. I used to be a social butterfly, but the older I am, the more closed up I'm becoming. It is hard for me to meet new people, even harder to talk to men in bars or on the street. Therefore, if a guy smiles at me in the subway, I try to smile back, but look like I'm about to have a seizure. If a guy invites me for a drink in the bar, I talk to him for 10 mins max, take my drink and walk away. I am just too shy, too inconfident and have a huge lack of trust.

I met my date on the most judgmental application that is available for your smartphone - Tinder. For those who don't know, Tinder is an application where you post your picture and a paragraph of your hobbies and what you are looking for and where you live. The application finds the people you are looking for in your area. It shows the picture and the paragraph and if you like how the person looks, you swipe right, if not, left. If you do swipe right and the person did the same for you, the application will let you know "you have a new match" and you can start communicating. So basically you are looking for someone based on visuals only. And the paragraph (which sometimes contains one sentence).

A week before I was desperate to meet some new people. I get along with guys much better than with girls. Also, I am in search of my future husband. So why not get both. I therefore downloaded this dreaded application and started looking. I kept swiping left. Guy with picture of beers - not one beer, multiple beers in hand. Left. Guy with a pretty girl on the picture. Left. Guy with pimples. Left. God, I feel bad. Handsome guy with a collar shirt. Hmmm, let's check his profile. "Looking for sex only. Love women. Don't swipe right if you're looking for something serious." LEFT. At least he's upfront. Left left left. Guy with glasses and a bright smile. Aaah! "Artist, bad-boy romantic, ... blah blah blah... If you're too busy swipe left. Like honestly." He's funny. Right. Ding - you have a new match! Oooh! Four-eyes liked me. :) Ding! Message: "Hey, liked you're profile. How are you today?" And thus began a conversation that turned into him giving me his number right away into hours of texting and laughing. He liked graffiti - so do I. He skateboards - so DID I. He's into art - so am I! His humor was the same, his opinions too. And his name was Joshua.

A week later, therefore today, I had a date with Joshua. I was excited, a little nervous, but not so much, because I felt very comfortable talking to him. But as it goes with online dating, you have some thoughts going through your head - will he be that person? What if he looks totally different. What if it's a woman? What if he's a no-show. What if he's crazy? Is he crazy? Maybe he's creepy. What is a handsome guy doing on Tinder being single? He must be a womanizer. I bet he's a womanizer. I have to be cautious. Yup! And that's how you build your Chinese wall. Then of course comes in the "what am I going to wear?" I don't want to look too overdone, but not sloppy. Since he was an artist and like graffiti and a nerd, I went for the cute nerd look. I wore my long-sleeved colorful shirt, jeans, fluffy boots and polar bear jacket. A little ravy, but not too much.

We were to meet at 181 and Cabrini. I went a little bit later so I wouldn't be there first. I started to feel nervous and slight feeling of social anxiety. "You can always turn around and make an excuse. You don't have to do this. You can stay home." my brain suggested. "No! I'll always be alone then. I have to go!" To calm myself down, I lit up a cigarette. What if he hates smokers? Oh well. That's the part of me. I was half-way there. My stomach turned over. Oh god, I hate this actually. Well, just smile, listen, sip your drink and go. Thank for a nice date and go. Just be there for an hour, say you're busy. I reached the bar and opened the door ...

When I enter somewhere and am supposed to meet someone I really don't know, I pretend like I'm meeting someone I do know. So when  I entered the bar, I focused my sight on Peter, the bartender. I looked around the bar swiftly. There was a guy sitting alone on the side and was looking at me...could be him but I wasn't sure. My memory completely shuts down when I'm nervous. And so I headed towards the bar, started waving at Peter, when I heard an "Agnes? Um.. Agnes?" I turned my head to the right where the guy was sitting alone. His eyes went straight through mine and I felt like I'm going to faint. He was cute. I nervously smiled. He got and we went for a hug. Our cheeks touched and I went for the other cheek as I am used to but he apparently wasn't. As I tried to elegantly slide to the other cheek our mouths met and slide awkwardly across each other until I got to the beginning of his cheek and I pulled back. "Oh GOD that was weird! He must think I'm a weirdo!!!" I thought to myself. He awkwardly smiled and I explained myself that the mouth wasn't my intent and that I do the cheek-cheek thing. "Yeah, like he's gonna believe me." I thought. I sat down to the table and grabbed the menu and dig my face in it. In the meanwhile he started talking, asking me questions. He laughed at my jokes. We ordered food and drinks. After food he joined me outside for another cigarette not minding me smoking at all and had one too. Hmmm, tolerant. The date went absolutely swell. We did not shut up and 2 hours passed by. He was half German, half Puerto Rican. He worked as an executive assistant in a law firm in Manhattan and in his free time he painted. In the summer he would skateboard and travel around the U.S. His sister was in Japan in the military. His father left at an early age due to his job. He was raised by his great grandmother, grandmother and Ma. It all sounded really good. Too good.

I was slightly tipsy and didn't want his to spend so much on our date, so we decided to go to my house. I told him that it'll just be a visit, I am not that type of girl that gives up the cookie on the first date. He understood. I was a little bit worried, what if he is a weirdo and kills me or robs me. We'll see. We got to my house, had some drinks and talked and talked. What was weird that there was this inner connection of thoughts. We would say or think the same things. And we would just laugh or "oh my god!!" about it. He was a really positive person. After a bit he went home. He got a peck on the mouth and that was all. I shut the door behind him and smiled. He was great. And if all works well, it'll be a great relationship. Ding! "Thanks for the great night. You are awesome!" he texted.

Day 36 - Queens

Queens is an interesting neighborhood. As any neighborhood in NYC, it has its good parts and bad parts. Danny lives close to Kew Gardens and that part is good. Very good actually. But it borders with Jamaica, which isn't so good. I mean the name says it all right? :D

In about a year, I'd like to have a place of my own and am therefore researching the neighborhoods. I actually really like Queens. It's calm, has all the stuff you need in a walking distance and is clean. It seems to be dog friendly neighborhood too, which is my priority. The bars are nice, the restaurants have good prices. The biggest con is travel to the city. My god, if the subway runs on time here it's a miracle. Even taxi cabs come 40 minutes late. And that is my biggest problem and reason I will probably not live her. Also, the prices are crazy. Danny lives in a house that is split into two apartments. He has the first floor. The apartment is really nice and he has his own backyard for the dog. The house belongs to his family, but he has to pay for maintenance. And that is over $1000 per month plus utilities. So he is basically paying a rent.

In New York, you pay extra for silence, cleanliness and no pests. I better marry a millionaire.

The weather in NYC became very cold. That day it was minus 14 degrees Celsius and very windy. It is said that this winter was one of the coldest in history. Of course, because I just looooooove winter. Where are the polar bears then?